Right now it feels like my 'old career' is getting in the way of my 'new career'. This is day five of seven straight days assisting and most of the rest of the month is booked. I need to shoot new photographs, have one project pretty much ready, yet I'm occupied all day assisting, and burnt by the time I get home. Plus I have a whole set of photos to retouch from my own shoot two weeks ago. I know it'll pass, that the assistant work will dry up for a couple days or a week or, shudder, a month. And that's when I'll remember that it's only partly a question of time, and that it's mostly a question of motivation, if not willingness. Willingness to risk making a bad image, to risk failing an idea I've fallen in love with in my head.

They're always so pretty, so awesome, so effective, inside my head, with the audience inside my head that's alternately far too generous or much too critical.

The challenge for me isn't so much getting the ideas out of my head and into a picture, it's picking up my camera often enough to let them flow out. But it's coming along, coming along...